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and others they are simply "not interested" than admit their inability to risk vulnerable feelings of being a beginner. They need to believe that if they only had the interest, they could do anything well. And as long as they don't try new things, this belief is never put to the test. |
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3. "Never enough" thinking often leads to procrastination. When the perfectionist is willing to try something new, it may be only after long procrastination. Whatever initial excitement may have been aroused at the thought of trying something new is overcome by paralyzing fear of failure, possible humiliation, and feelings of shame. |
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Procrastination protects the perfectionist from the dread of the less-than-perfect result, which he or she views as failure. Fear of failure may also lead the perfectionist to procrastinate with more familiar tasks and projects, stifling creativity and holding the perfectionist back from what he or she most desiresachievement. |
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Procrastinators often rationalize their inability to face their fears of rejection and humiliation by all kinds of "good" excuses for not beginning a task. So, they not only avoid taking on threatening projects that may expose them to shame and humiliation, but avoid even the acknowledgment of the real reasons for their behavior. Because of this, it is necessary to first help procrastinators admit that, indeed, they are fearful of a catastrophic outcome. Once this fear can be acknowledged, it becomes possible to work more directly with catastrophic expectations and negative thinking. |
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4. No matter how well perfectionists perform, they struggle to feel satisfied with the outcome. They feel an inner emptiness instead of the joy of accomplishment. For example, Jason had only been trading at home part-time for a year. He had managed to make enough good trades to show a 30 percent profit. But he wasn't satisfied. He compared himself to other traders he talked to who were making hundreds of thousands of dollars per year. |
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Instead of letting himself feel good about beating the odds of losing the first year, all he could do was compare himself to experienced traders whom he considered the real "winners." He could not, therefore, allow himself to enjoy the good return on his trading that he had earned. |
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5. Perfectionists are unable to savor the moment of accomplishment and unwilling to celebrate the event. Upon returning from a trip to Europe and noticing the increase in cell phone usage, Michael does his due diligence on Nokia. After following the stock for a while, he |
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